How can I deal with my ‘false self? There
are ways of exposing it. One is humor: suddenly glimpsing my seriousness about myself
and my efforts, even those stubborn efforts to be good and improve
myself; perhaps glimpsing in a moment of delicious self-awareness, how
ridiculous I am. Ideally I come to realize that there is a whole world out
there that is not about me. What a relief! I can relax and learn to part of it,
without having to be at the center of it all.
Another way of exposing the ‘false self’ is
self-compassion. I may finally realize that I am being ridiculous or obsessive and
really stuck in destructive patterns. But I cannot just stop or deny them. I have
acknowledged them. Perhaps now I can be gentle with myself. I am a fragile,
broken creature, but I am held by the love of God. I am not perfect. Being
compassionate with myself does not mean being self-indulgent. Rather simply accepting my
powerlessness and being gentle with my own creatureliness involves true
humility. And it can lead me back to others and to the world around me- at last
more self-forgetful, and truly compassionate.
Photograph by Brother Brian. Excerpts from a recent chapter talk by Abbot Damian.
